The Fairy Apprentice
by B.Vain
Summary: You know you're Master of an art when you have a successful apprentice,but it takes an altogether different kind of mastery to make success stories out of ill-convinced, criminally disposed delinquents. The Council has finally figured the way to get back at the obnoxious Fairies.


The Fairy Apprentice

**1. Don't Underestimate the Eloquence Of a Look**

Makarov walked out of the Council Court chambers clutching to his chest the verdict like his personal silver string of spider web lowered into the Chi-no-ike , lose it and drown in unspeakable agony.

Instead, actually, the paper enumerated litany of sins that had finally caught up to them, and the legal act of penance dabbed on it was the plight that had left him looking ages older and cold to the bone with terror.

Master walked out the halls, limped down the steps, weak and frail.

The journey back to the Guild slipped and disappeared into the fogginess that wrapped Master's mind. The winding dirt road leading to the old Guild building seemed to stretch on forever. Still, somehow, he did reach the destination he had set out for.

Fairy Tail's halls were venue to the same untamed opera of joy and rather graceless ballet of complacence that was-depending on whom you ask- proudly, derisively, disgustingly, _unanimously _though, agreed to be Fairy Tail's spirit; it's true form.

There was little joy of being home, though, dread devoured most of it.

Like a spirit among the living, Master quietly drifted, unseen & unbothered by any, through the rowdy crowd to the bar.

"Good morning, Master!" Mira greeted with a cheer tempered with caution. "How'd it go?"

"You know my poison Mira-chan. Make it extra strong this once.", was all the answer she got. That and Master's lousy poker face. _T__hat bad, huh?,_ Mira surmised.

She nodded, all attentive compliance and quiet deliberation.

Master drink was served and he grimly tilted it down his throat. Mira, working with seamless efficiency, followed Master's movements as he turned in his stool and regarded the dancing fools of the guild with a rueful smile.

_Something big is on it's way._

Finally after downing a couple of pints, he stood up and roared for attention of every body present.

This, as every other seemingly straightforward task, which in principle it should be were Fairy Tail taken out of the equation, proved to be quite a workout in virtues of patience, compassion, endurance, ability to dumb down facts to a chimp's intellect while simultaneously choke-slamming men with disposition of drunk gorillas into submission, and so on.

Following the trademarked violent ritual, the members of the guild- barring a few- sporting various degree of physical damage, the ones conscious anyway, had been strong armed to be a compliant audience.

"The Council has finally had enough." Makaraov began ominously. "Though they say we have finally outdone ourselves, it seems that the past seven years had robbed them of the tolerance they had for our… free-spirited, unorthodox methods of-DON'T LOOK SO DAMN PLEASED WITH YOURSELVES! IT'S NOTHING TO BE PROUD ABOUT! YOU'VE REALLY CAUSED US SOME TROUBLE THIS TIME AROUND!"

And as it was, almost all of them were pink with pleasure.

The aggravated roar broke Natsu's sleep spell. "Whoa." He muttered blinking awake, "Did Master got it over with?" Yawn.

"Alright already old man, out with it." Gray looked ready to drop too. "Stop building the suspense, it's seriously wearing thin."

"Sheesh, how carefree can you guys get?" Lucy mused out loud with a rhetoric quirk of lips, a sensual collaboration of exasperation and fondness. "Hold still, Natsu, You're drooling." she leaned across the table and wiped the sticky trail off with a kerchief.

"Oh," Natsu's look of surprise shifted to a grateful, goofy grin. "Thanx Lucy."

"No problem." She nodded. "But do try to pay attention to Master, if something's got him worked up maybe it wouldn't be so bad if we at least hear... him..." *SNORE*"...out". Head hanging low, Natsu had already slipped back to the deep recesses of slumber he had crawled out from. 'Ah, gee.'

All the while Master was going on about the indelible bed of thorns they had made for themselves. His dramatic narrative was punctuated with snores, yawns and the tepid whispers of budding conversations in the back.

Sensing all the telltale signs of Guild reaching the end of its collective attention span Master decided to wrap it up.

So be it, if the little jerks won't take things seriously, well, he can protect them only so far.

Have a dose of this : "The Guild's cooperation has been coerced for the Council's latest scheme to educate young juvenile delinquents."

A long, painfully blank silence.

"It means that Fairy Tail will be taking in apprentices, teaching them in magic, etiquette the whole nine yards to become an ideal member of society!(A/N: LOL)" Master ground out.

There was another, shorter silence of crunching information and digesting it.

Following it, then, were awkward "O-oh" of understanding from his audience and some _really_ weird looks shot his way.

What the hell kind of reaction was that?, Master frowned. They were all too far gone to be held against normal standards of actions or reactions alike. But usually, however twisted or para-sanity it was, there _was_ some logic to their actions and watching them grow from quirky eccentrics to full blown nutcases had awarded Master with some invaluable insight into their neural workings. And the fact that he wasn't that far from being a raving loon helped matters too.

But this, it didn't fit any sort of profile he had on them; until suddenly it grew apparent to him…

This awkward behavior… those shifty looks … the inability to look him in the eye…

Several veins popped up on Makarov's forehead.

"ARE YOU DAMNED BASTERDS **PITYING** _**ME****?****!**_"

There, the shiftiness accentuated … And those looks again!-_ How could he have not understood them earlier?!_- saying oh so subtly: "Poor old fool, must have finally gone off his rocker if he's so worried about _this_!" and yes, looks can be so eloquent, don't underestimate them.

"_**Pity yourselves you morons; pity your cursed pha-tes!"**_ spit flying around Makarov was going purple in face_** "You have no idea what you're up against!" **_

That didn't help matters any. It only seemed to be cementing their earlier assumption.

"Fine!" Master exhaled out loudly. This approach wouldn't work with them; they seriously are dumber than chimps. They have no idea what fatal traps they are walking into, the slippery path they so nonchalantly were gearing up to trek.

Lord Almighty.

But be as it may, it was his job to prepare them for the war even if they were determined to walk bare into the battle. Even at the cost of his sanity.

Funny how casualties start to pile here even before the main course of mayhem, Master noted with distant amusement looking at the unconscious ones stirring back to life; it's so typical of Fairy tail to sustain more injuries suiting up for the battle than during the actual war.

"Gather around, you all! It's time we've had _that_ chat."

* * *

tbc

a/n: Hope it was fun.


End file.
